Forty Six

It is not just a number but a physical arrival at a place. Past 45, closer to 50, the end of days. Anyone who says life begins at forty, that provides but a short span 'cos it sure as hell stops at 45. Remember all of those things you were going to do, at 46 it is genuinely time to forget it.

Never be a rock star

Never star in Hollywood

Never make it as a pilot

Never shag a supermodel- well not another one at least.

Never run up stairs

Never trek around Nepal

Never ski at the Olympics

Never Play for Chelsea

Whilst this is the despair, the joy is your children?

Now you can live your life vicariously through them, become some sad old f****r pushing his kids to stage school, screaming at the touchline on a rainy Sunday morning, ranting about getting good grades and doing homework as its so important now. Only it isn't is it.

What is important at 46? Not a lot.

Actually generally not having to give too much of a shit what is going on is great, not caring about politics anymore, not hating (other than drivers), tolerance of differences, anticipation of changes, the future seems much nearer and the long thread of experience starts to genuinely feel like an advantage rather than a track record. Work time passes more rapidly, you need less sleep, hangovers are more transient, burning imperatives are somehow slightly cooler.

The one real fear is that you may not get to read, see or understand everything that you want to before you die. This is particularly true if you have the classic mid-life and go buy yourself a motorbike.