Brown Up-beat on Economy and Election Prospects

In a completely expected move Gordon Brown appeared up beat on the economy and predicted double digit growth in some areas of the economy over the coming months. Citing the burning of valuable assets and Listed buildings, fire sales of property and industrial stocks and winding up orders as key areas for growth.

Launching an attack on the negative face of the press Brown pointed to his long and firm grip on the economy and how it had benefited hugely from his stewardship in particularly difficult economic times over the last ten years.

He saw no reason to be negative now with good economic signs coming from the housing sector where house builders have "lost" up to 40% of their staff, the city where the credit crunch has led to 40,000 job losses so far this year, trading rooms where shares have lost over 20% of their value in the last quarter, utilities where energy and water prices have doubled and the oil trading floor where a barrel of oil now costs more than double what it did in December.

With growing signs of unrest and likely strike action across the public sector, health and education, dissatisfaction rife in the transport industry and funding for infrastructure projects cut across the board to pay for the spiraling costs of the Olympics, Brown said things have never been better. A healthy dose of additional taxation to stave off the imminent threat of global warming, in this the second successive summer of constant rain in the UK, in his view would be sufficient to see the economy and his parties fortunes in clover for another decade.

Citing his magnificent popularity in the polls and at recent by-election victories for his party and his inspirational reading of the public mood he claimed that with his deep understanding of economics there should be nothing whatsoever to worry about.

In a final flourish Brown thanked his coterie of advisers and spin doctors for managing the Country so well over the last 12 months and said he looked forward to a continuing positive relationship with the British people.